Wednesday, August 25, 2010

So Hard to Breathe

I got used to the brightness, when you were in my life. And now you're gone; the darkness has settled over me, like a suffocating blanket. While everyone else looks up to see what has obscured the light, I look down, for I know, and I pull myself into a hidden corner and cry myself into oblivion.

I know that moments like these are once in a lifetime, that they soon pass, and that all will be filled with light again, but there is a problem, you see; I can't move forward, I can't see the hope yet. I know it's darkest before the dawn, but those are the moments it's hardest to live through. I cannot wait until it has all passed, when I can breathe again, when my heart doesn't clench with agony and hatred, and disappointment every time I see you. I miss the times when I used to breathe easy, when I wouldn't wake in the early hours of the morning, and be unable to fall back asleep because all I could do was think about you.

...I miss the times when you were a comforting thought.

So we're come to this. That's ok. I understand. I don't want you back in my life, but I want you gone completely. I want the thoughts to stop, the longings to stop, the ugly feelings to stop. I need to stop dying a little every time I see you.

Please. Stop haunting me. I need to move on.

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