Friday, March 23, 2012

Winter Souls

Winter is coming, I can taste it in the air. The cold will bring relief, it will cool the passion building inside. The burning will stop, the yearning stop scorching my heart, and I shall be able to breathe once again, the way I used to before; before I ever laid eyes on you, in the heart of summer.

Honey, we all have souls to save, and I need something to save mine from you.

But with the winter comes the dark, walking hand in hand with loneliness, which will scratch at old wounds till they burst open and bleed again. I would that you were there to kiss them closed. Would you come and hold me close and whisper comforts in my ear while the rain falls outside, drowning the whole world? Would you chase away those shadows which threaten to damn me?

We cannot all be saved, but I hope that you could try.

How I Disappear

Only partially there; has anyone even noticed? Slowly, I'm disintegrating, giving myself to you, tiny pieces breaking away from my skin, floating away on the wind, seeking your body, trying to find a home in your heart. Could you open the door before I beat my fists bloody against it? Before I disappear completely? I feel your eyes meet mine and I know that there's a chance. All those bits of me that are banging on your door are the promises I'm making to you. Soon there'll be nothing left of me, only promises and hopes that you and I will fall into this thing called love, still somewhat a fable to my skeptic's mind. But I'm sure I could believe in it if you were to take my hand and show me.

I'll press my fingertips slightly into your skin, the only points of pressure between our two bodies, but we'll not need more, for our eyes will be locked. I'll drown in the depths of yours. I'll skim my fingertips down your arm, caressing your skin, skating across it, afraid to break the fragile moment. You'll smile; my heart will flutter. You'll lean close and press your lips to mine, and we'll find ourselves in the midst of that fairytale land.

We need a beginning, and I cannot while away behind this invisible wall of fear as neither of us take the steps which will lead us to something more. We cannot be errant leaves on a breeze forever. I want to find my home. I want to know if you could be mine. It's hard to be someone, but I could do it for you. Let us take our chances?

Thursday, March 8, 2012


What is this? An epiphany? A disappointment? A salvation? Or a damnation? To feel alone as ever, standing on the street corner, watching the world go by, wondering how easy it could all end with only one step into the oncoming traffic. This, this is what loneliness does. It has not the dark glamour of the films, nor any of the beauty of the poems. It is a leech, draining you of life, slowly, surely, killing you. It would be easy to end it. It would be too easy to let it win.

The snow falls. My paper flutters. Her eyes say nothing. My heart sinks, breaks, disintegrates. I lose. She loses. We all lose, in this game. Take a breath. Start again. Or walk forward and never play again.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

My Sin, My Soul

It seems there is no way of knowing what you want to know; to ask would be too forward, too against social propriety. To ask would be rude.

Leaps, leaps and bounds are what we ought to be taking. Leaps and bounds are exactly what we're too afraid of trying.

For the first time, I feel like I know what I want in my life. But I cannot; and in the absence of you, I have my tears, I have my sorrows, I have my wretched loneliness. I do not wander as lonely as a cloud, for clouds seem content in their loneliness. No; I wander as lonely as a fog, descending on the earth simply to be close to what it can never have. And the city which once used to ignite happiness within me, now only sparks more sorrow, as the buildings pierce through my skin, reminding me that they stand together, while I walk alone.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

This Road

One day I'll look back on this road and wonder why I took it. I'll wonder how I fell in love with every bend, with the very feel of the gravel, with the past and the future, stretching out in both directions. I won't be able to give a definite answer, but I'll have one, tucked away, hidden from sight, in the dark corners of my mind.

The answer will always be the same: I thought it was the road which would bring me to you.