Friday, September 10, 2010

Searching for Something

I seem to wander aimlessly through life; there's no direction, no destination, even the journey seems dull. My eyes pass over things, always slightly out of focus, and everything seems to be covered in this impenetrable haze. The colour seems to have bled from the earth, and the wind seems to have become icy rather than warm.

I seem to be searching for something, without entirely knowing what it is that I am looking for. I think that I am relying on the belief, however naive, that I will know once I find it; that there will be a pull in my chest and I will simply know.

For a while I thought that you were what I was looking for, but I think now that I was wrong. You see, there wasn't a moment where everything became clear, and the haze lifted, but rather, the fog became thicker and the world became more confusing. There was too much uncertainty for me to believe that you were what I was looking for. At least, that is what I am hoping. I fervently pray that I haven't made a huge mistake and that I wake up in 6 months time wondering why on earth I let things pass as they did.

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