Thursday, September 2, 2010

Fight For A Cure

A leaden weight presses on my eyes and an iron chain anchors my spirit. I stumble through each day, dragging my burdens along with me, for I don't know how to leave them in the past. At the end of the day I collapse, a tired heap, and hysterics threaten to overcome me as I fight to stay awake. There must be some cure for this sickness.

I search high and low every waking second, hoping that something will present itself to me and cure me of all that is wrong. However, there is nothing, and every day I fall, disappointed, wondering if I should bother stirring on the morrow. Sometimes I don't feel at all, and other times, I wish I couldn't feel because the feelings are never good. I know that I am sick, and I know that there must be something that can be done, only, I don't know where to find my cure.

I'm tired of putting on a brave face, of pretending to be strong, when I feel so fragile and vulnerable on the inside. I don't want sympathy or pity, I want someone to fix it and make it all stop haunting me. I'm too frayed, and the threads of me are beginning to come apart; soon enough it will be obvious to everyone else. It's ridiculous how you can feel so alone but at the same time know that you are not.

I'll try to patch myself up with impermanent glue and sticky tape, but it has not been successful thus far. I will continue to drown among my sheets on my welcoming bed, the most sympathetic friend, and hope that tomorrow might bring something different, something that will stop this fatal illness.


  1. Am I ever?
    But honestly, the reason I blog is to release the feelings, so I actually do feel better after posting these things. So it's better than it was.
    I put everything into the post and then forget about it. It's therapy in a twisted kind of way...
    But thanks for asking Em.

  2. Hahaha, true. Sure, we keep saying this but we are yet to finish that blasted conversation! We should really get cracking before term's over! Haha

  3. Oh gosh yes!! 3 weeks Em!
    Damn the fact I only ever see you at recess. Maybe we'll just spend a lunch time dedicated to that conversation.

  4. Mmmmhmm :) Except that I won't be having anymore troubles then and I would be simply recounting why I was feeling blue. But you my dear... I think that may be a whole different story.

  5. Hehe, most likely. But your story is by far going to be the more interesting one.