Wednesday, December 22, 2010

The Time of Freedom

No air left to breathe, no songs left to hear, no visions left to see; you're robbing me of everything. You must know that you're duty isn't to take, it is to give, as it always has been, and nothing has happened to turn the tables, so why do you insist on doing what you should not?

You only ever saw a portion of who I am, never the whole picture; you saw what you wanted to see, and to the rest you were oblivious. You have no pride on me, only shame, you place no trust in me, only responsibility, you do not allow me to grow. But my wings want to unfurl; they beat against the bars of my cage, growing weary and bloodied as flesh hits metal repeatedly. You do nothing for me as it is, why not just let me go: I stand on my own two feet already.Where were you when I was trapped in my darkest days? You were blind and saw nothing. You didn't even know what had happened until months later; you didn't know how many tears I had shed in the dark of the night. If I told you this, you would exclaim that you didn't know because I didn't tell you, but as a parent, you have a responsibility to look for the unspoken and understand the unsaid. I didn't tell you because I knew you would be of no help, but instead deepen the festering wound. I've never been supported by you. You should be ashamed to know it and still treat me as you do.

The time of freedom is dawning. I'm going to stand tall and proud, spread my arms and feel the waves of exultation flood over me and fill me with a power that you cannot break. You had me, and you didn't treat me right, you broke me and were blind to my other emotional trauma, so now, you've lost me. You're going to watch me walk away as the person you aren't, the person I had to learn to be on my own because you were incapable of teaching me; the person you're going to wish you'd been.

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