Friday, November 5, 2010

Keep Moving

Damn it, you came back and stabbed me again just when I thought I was done with you. For once I thought that maybe I could not run into you, not have to try desperately to stop my eyes from being drawn to you, but no, being my life, this was not the case. But damn it, I thought I'd left you behind.

Is the world really so small that we must keep meeting? I would rather avoid you. If I don't see you, perhaps I can move on. Sometimes I hate you, sometimes I love you; recently, I've missed you. But I'm not going to take today as a sign, because I want nothing more than to let go. For someone who has always been able to let things go easily, I'm finding you very difficult to release. Except I thought I had. Until today.

Oh, you still have be bound and chained and you don't know it. The only difference is that this time, I'm slowly breaking the chains. I'm almost free; I can almost grasp the freedom, so tangible it is. So if today was a set up, and I'm almost self absorbed enough to believe that you orchestrated it perfectly so that you'd be there when you knew I would be, then that's it, stop it. You can't have me anymore. You had me once, you lost me. For both our sakes, our sanity, we need to keep moving. Stop and we lose our balance. So I'll keep going, even if it means leaving you behind; I've done it once, I can do it again.

Sometimes I think that my happiness lies with you, but I know, I have to carve out my own life now. I might let you in again if you truly wanted it, but I wouldn't trust you again.

I've realised that I owe myself happiness. Don't get in the way.

No comments:

Post a Comment