Along with that came a startling realisation. I find that I always fall for the people who need a saviour; it may take me a lifetime to like them, but in one second that they show vulnerability, they have me - I'm theirs. Naturally such a destructive thing would happen to me. I do not hate it, but it has made me realise that the hardest thing that I will face in this lifetime is not saving people, or loving people, but distinguishing those I love out of love, and those I love out of the compulsion to help them. Only one is true love and I must be able to identify it before I am thrown into something where I am constantly being tugged upon to assist and being fed more heartache than it is worth. I must be on guard, for I must learn to distinguish those I love from the rest; such a momentous task for one who has always thought they were in love with the person they in fact only had the compulsion to save.
It's a recurring pattern in my life; my heart always aches after someone a little more when I have seen the tears streaking down their face. The fact is, I can't be held by that anymore. I can't love you only because you're vulnerable, I need to love you despite your vulnerability.