Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Hanging in the Balance

You're going to leave your life in ruins. When you hear no other voice, you listen to that of instinct, and that is what instinct whispers to you; your life will end in ruins. Can anything more be expected when your shadow is a burden and the world denies you happiness?

You can't rely on miracles, you can't rely on sunlight, you can't rely on the thoughts which spin through your mind. Planet keeps turning, your mind keeps churning; there are no answers which you don't already know. You keep walking but you can't see where you're going; the path's a black screen before you, moving with you, inch by inch. You can't go back, and you can't stay still, so you keep moving forward, terrified because you can't tell what you're walking into. And behind you all the way, are they, urging, pushing, prodding, threatening. They expect you to be independent without allowing you the chance to gain independence.

You can't rely on yourself. It seems you do nothing but wrong, leaving all in a mess, a complex knot which cannot be untied. People walk out of your life as though you meant nothing to them, and still haunt you in your dreams. Others pretend to be there for you, but turn their backs the second you need them. Of course this leaves them vulnerable to attack, but you're too moral to backstab. The rest of the world gets under your skin, pushes you to the edge, unknowing that you really could overbalance and plunge to the depths of insanity and rage, the waves of which already scorch your feet.

Time is of the essence. But time means nothing to you because you can't even live your life for yourself. It feels like you're at a standstill, and though the clock keeps ticking, it seems as though it's been still for an eternity. One second is all it takes; will you fall forward and sink into the agony of insanity and untempered anger, or take the only other path and walk parallel to the waves, leaving the rest of the world gaping in your wake?

No comments:

Post a Comment