Monday, November 29, 2010

Before the Dawn

Do you stand in the middle of the highway, staring out to the horizon, wondering how the fuck you got there? The black tarmac laughs at you, smearing against the landscape, the same colour of the smear of darkness on your heart; an ugly scar on something that would have been so beautiful. Like Orpheus you cannot look back, or you may lose everything you want, everything you walk towards hiding just beyond the horizon; look back and you just may remember me. I am that black scar, that thing which you wish didn't happen, but did. Remember the pain as you carved it into your own heart?

Run, run, run faster, feet pounding asphalt, breath ragged, desperate, try outrun the past that dogs your steps. Poor fool. The memory remains, no matter how far you run. The sky will rain pins, each one piercing your skin as you flee, each one bringing back the pain, the fire. You will remember me inside you, in that place reserved only for me, and you will cry, the tears will hew their path down your cheeks and you will bleed red like the sun. Grind your teeth, run faster, wish harder, hope for some miracle cure. This time your arrogance cost you everything.

There's music in the setting sun that you run towards, as it bleeds across the sky and seeps beneath that horizon. It's that sound which sometimes flicks a switch within you, makes you want to want me, and you give in, so enticing is the sound. You open your arms and welcome me, take me in, breathe me, taste me, touch me, lie there while I rape your senses. Oh remember how you welcomed it, revelled even, now too afraid to even look at the shame that is me. You aren't as good as they believe, as you want to believe. Your soul is as dirty as worst, despite its pristine surface. Don't let them too close, be afraid, they might see through you.

Excruciating, isn't it, this reminder of mine? I won't fade, won't disappear. I'm the dark side of you, and you will give in to me, you know it. You want to - I can feel it when I make you writhe; you don't want me to leave, but you're afraid of who you'll be if I stay. My presence is the best torture and the worst pleasure. It's time for you to choose a side; you cannot indulge in both forever. This is the reason why you wake before the dawn each day.

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