I think I've been trying to go in the wrong direction. What I'm doing now should be a hobby, not a career. It doesn't make me as happy as other things, I should follow those things which make me happy, which give me confidence. Isn't that right? I wasn't born to slave away over things which bring me no pleasure. I was created for something different. I realise that now. I may not have all the skills for the right path, but skills can be learned. It's the euphoria you have to follow, no matter the cost. I can see myself there, years from now, still loving it, but not here where I am. The music seems to be my calling. But how do I respond? We're at the crossroads now. I can't make a decision which is going to haunt me for the rest of my life. No regret, that's the aim. I fear failure, but that shouldn't stop me, not this time. Life begins at the end of your comfort zone after all.