For a second there, just a second, my head fell down from the clouds and shattered upon the ground. There my mind lay, splattered across the pavement, thoughts running in the rivulets of blood. For the first time, I could read them, the thoughts which hid beneath the surface, overrun by daydreams and fantasies. The truth surprised me.
It turns out, I'm not ready, like I always thought I was. I still want it, I still need it, but I'm not ready. That realisation terrifies me.