Tuesday, October 4, 2011

The Feelings Which Came Again

I suppose you can never really outrun the feelings which have scarred your soul. They never truly disappear, they merely go into hibernation, reappearing when it is least convenient for you, in times of trouble and stress. And then you're back to where you started, wanting to crawl into a ball and cry yourself to sleep, because that feels like the only option you have.

Facing the world feels like the greatest challenge of them all, and it takes every last residue of willpower to hold your head high. All your strength is required to take the next step forward, all your courage is needed to complete the next action. And the next, and the next, and the next, until one day, you find yourself out of the challenge, looking back and wondering when it ended. And all that time, who noticed the struggle?

Wasn't it evident in your face? Couldn't they see it in your eyes, the way they shined with unshed tears? Wasn't it visible in the droop of your mouth? Did you hide it so well that no one could see? Or did nobody care to look?

It cuts you through the heart that those feelings of hopelessness could return and no one can see them in your face. Yet, you know, like the time before, you shall make it through. The depression wasn't strong enough to bring you down last time, nor will it be this time. Or any time again. You won't let it prevail.

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