Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Seasons of Change

Sometimes something strange happens; there's an almost imperceptible shift in the air, in the organs inside you, in the blood cells in your veins - a miniscule change, like something snapping, or falling into place. It's normally nothing dramatic, just another moment in an ordinary day, which only when you look back reveals itself as extraordinary, a turning point in your life. Sometimes, you may not even remember what you were doing in that moment, but remember the feeling of it, the way that you looked up from what you were doing and suddenly felt a tiny bit different, as though something else was inhabiting your skin as well as yourself; or as though something left through it.

You can't tell straight away what it is that had changed, but you knew there was something not quite right. Or maybe, not quite wrong anymore. It's only when you look at certain places, or at certain objects, or hear certain people's names or smell certain scents, and nothing traumatic comes rushing back, no intense feelings, that you realise what it is. You realise that you're ok now, that you truly have moved on. You walk back through your memory and though there is a certain nostalgia, it's not painful, and you no longer fervently wish yourself back to happier days; you realise that these are happier days. You let the memories of recent times surface and you pinpoint that one moment where it all changed - the moment you truly began a new chapter in the book of your life. So with your new leaf turned over, you go forth. Things are never the same again, but thinking about it, you don't want them to be.

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